Nothing beats a living, breathing human being…but these 🌶️ products come real close (and for some reviewers, are even better). 👀

Nothing beats a living, breathing human being…but these 🌶️ products come real close (and for some reviewers, are even better). 👀

Fun Factory, @funfactoryusa / Via www.instagram.comPromising review: “This toy is absolutely incredible. I don’t have much experience with toys because until now I never found the right thing. Vibrations are just distracting to me. I prefer exciting penetration, and this one… I’ve never seen anything like this. The width is a tad intimidating, but once my imagination has me all worked up, it’s everything I could possibly want. I use it solo without the suction. The only thing that could possibly make this better would be to not be the one doing the work. It is large, so if I’m not at the right angle (or if I’m at too good of an angle), there’s slight pain, but, like, the kind that makes you go cross-eyed. The sensation of the balls inside is really exhilarating. They give me a little something extra that helps me feel like someone else is doing the deed. I haven’t orgasmed like this in years. I used it twice today, and I switched to a smaller, less interesting toy for round three. That got me started, but I anxiously came back to this for a successful, glorious experience. I think I might be obsessed.” —Ashley

Get it from Fun Factory or Amazon for $99.99 (available in red and black).

www.amazon.com, www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “This toy is fantastic! Can be used with a partner or solo. About as close to the real thing as you can get so much better than a hand! Would highly recommend.” —dawn johnson

“This is a new level and I hate to say, it’s kinda of better than the real thing in a few ways. It’s almost TOO good and since it does not expand like a real vagina, it stays pretty dang tight. If you are wider than 2 inches it’s going to be an even tighter squeeze. The entire tube is about 9 inches so if you are longer… look elsewhere or you’ll be popping out and you won’t be able to use the suction aspect of it at all because the end cap is there. I’d say the perfect size you should be to enjoy this is anywhere from 4–7.5 inches length and 1–1.75 inches wide not measuring around but just across.” —Bob Benkosky

“WARNING: This thing will make your toes do gang signs. I was skeptical, read all the reviews, and pulled the trigger. I’m telling you, if this thing was warm, with lube it would be identical to the real thing.” —Juan Disimo

Get it from Amazon for $26.89+ (available in five colors).

www.amazon.com, www.amazon.comPromising review: “OMG. Don’t have anyone to 👅 you?? NOT A PROBLEM ANYMORE. Wow these toys are getting so advanced it’s amazing. Feels sooo similar to a real tongue. And has a vibrator on the other end so it’s even better. 😂 This made me climax in a way I never have before. 10/10 recommend.” —Mel

Get it from Amazon for $34.99.

@honeyplaybox / Via www.instagram.comPromising review: “I am not sure why this product doesn’t have more reviews, but oh my GOD, I just thought I’d share my personal experience. Hands down the best sex toy I’ve ever used. This made my body do things I didn’t know I was capable of. If you are considering purchasing this product, take this review as your sign to purchase. I promise you and your body will NOT regret.” —Sadie

Get it from Honey Play Box for $58.99 (originally $78.99; available in pink and purple).

Honey Play Box is a sexual wellness company in California run by a group of sex educators and self-proclaimed lesbian meme queens who are passionate about all things pleasure being positive, inclusive, and accessible.

www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “I did not use it for pain relief, more like stress relief! And it make my stress moan away!! Better than any real life thing out there!!” —mimi

“I bought it for my husband and me to try out in bed. I didn’t think it would be so powerful to make me squirt within seconds! 🤤 My husband even said his balls are numb from how powerful it is lmao! 🤣 Literally had to place a pillow over my face from screaming out in pleasure and waking the whole neighborhood LOL.” —Cheyanne

Get it from Amazon for $19.95+ (available in seven colors).

If you want to see more wand vibrators, don’t worry, we’ve got you.

New York Toy CollectiveFor packing, it’s recommended to be worn with a strap-on / harness, so that it stays put. The stroker cavity stretches and works best for anatomies at least 0.5" in diameter because it will create suction, any smaller and the suction will not be activated.

Promising reviews: “My favorite packer I’ve ever had. It’s a gentle packer (with coconut oil, of course) and a very affirming realistic toy. Great for solo play. The ribbed sleeve inside feels amazing. I could not get enough of it for months.” —Lola

“My partner and I used the Jack yesterday. They are trans masculine and three years on testosterone. We used it in two different ways. The first way, I used a nice amount of lube, opened the stroker and suctioned it and stroked. It worked best with reinforcement by hand. Most FTM strokers we come across seem as if they are designed for trans masculine folks who are more developed growth wise physically. With that being said we improvised and the toy wound up giving amazing results for my partner. They give it a 9/10 and said that they are interested in seeing this develop in different shapes and sizes. I also suctioned it, applied pressure with fingers and performed oral sex. He said it was very pleasurable to be able to receive head and have the point of view visual that Jack creates. It helped with his dysphoria.” —Summer

Get it from New York Toy Collective for $59 (available in four fleshtone hues).

New York Toy Collective is a Black-, woman- and queer-owned retailer that creates high-quality, gender-affirming intimacy toys and products, ranging from packers and binders to dildos and accessories.

UnboundTruly a Gem, this toy has a curved end and a beaded end with a flared base in the middle for easy removal. Oh, and it’s dishwasher safe? Um, yes please!

Promising reviews: “New bff; possible husband replacement. Can’t say enough good things about Gem. It’s a great size (not too big or too small) and is awesome for anal. Hits the G-spot just right when used vaginally. Combining Gem with Jelly is a match made in heaven!” —chelly j.

“I love the Gem. I bought this with the Bender for clit stimulation and vibration and I have been getting SERIOUSLY long and intense orgasms. This has me feeling like that Mitski lyric, ‘Nobody f**cks me like me’ (with the help of Unbound Babes, of course).” —kelsie

Get it from Unbound for $35 or Amazon $34.

www.amazon.comIt might just be Amazon’s most beloved sex toy, seriously.

Promising reviews: “I have been waiting for something like this forever. Helped me to get over that edge. Best thing since sliced bread. I highly recommend this.” —etheldrea

“Throughout my entire life, I have NEVER orgasamed as quickly as I did when using this. It literally took less than a minute. It is absolutely amazing. It’s better than sex or any other toy I’ve ever purchased.” —Confidential

Get it from Amazon for $39.95 (available in three colors).

BTW, we rounded up a list of sex toys to pair with your Satisfyer Pro 2, so check it out!

www.amazon.com, www.amazon.comThis dildo is literally almost too large to fit into the frame?????? *adds to cart*

Promising review: “I…. I…. this thing is dangerous! At first it looks a little scary because of how thick it it but it is magical!!!!” —Jeé

“It’s going to be a gift I think they are going to love it. It looks and feels just like the real thing and the suction cup is a plus!!” —Paul Baker

Get it from Amazon for $22.99.

www.amazon.comThree speeds and seven powerful vibration modes in the shaft and rabbit ears along with flexible anal beads offer a lot stimulation whether you like to use your toys alone or with a partner, for foreplay or the entire session.

Promising review: “HOLY FUCK! This is my absolute favorite vibrator. I can’t tell you how many times I came because I have lost count. I have like 30 toys and none of that got so much attention like this one. 🤣🤣 Drip drip. 💦💦💦 Worth every penny.” —Elka Friedman

Get it from Amazon for $27.99+ (available in violet and pink).

MysteryVibePromising reviews: “You will not be disappointed! Using Poco is like having an ultra-thick, dual-motor-controlled finger pleasure you, that unlike most human fingers, won’t get tired. It’s pretty perfect.” —Laura

“There are so many times when we wish we had a discreet, compact, powerful vibrator tucked away in the bedside drawer to play with, forget about the world and reach new levels of euphoria. That’s exactly what I got from the Poco vibrator! The best pocket vibrator in the market by far!” —Claudia

Get it from MysteryVibe for $143 (originally $179).

www.amazon.comAt 7.6 inches long and 1.5 inches wide (at the largest point), this vibrator sets itself apart with 10 unique vibration modes.

Promising reviews: “It is as close as you’ll come to experiencing the real thing. And let me tell you, the orgasms keep coming.” —Jeri

“Happy orgasmic Monday with teal vibes!! Receiving this was the highlight of my day. First, the pictures do not do it justice…it’s so soft and flesh like. 10 O to the triple MMM Greatness settings. I only made it through half of them before I climaxed and quickly climaxed with round 2! (Less than two minutes to pure bliss.) I love that it’s a barely there plugin. No awkward plastic handle, no batteries to fidget with. Did I mention it’s waterproof?! All I can say is Tracy’s Dog has done it and my rating is AHHHHmazing!!! Perfect for solo play as it’s curve hits all the right spots. Ty Tracy’s Dog!!! You definitely need to get one!!” —Angela Dumais

Get it from Amazon for $32.98.

Tenga USAPromising reviews: “I like spinner sleeves because one: they feel just about as real as real can get. And two: they come with a EZ dry bottom to best keep your sleeve from becoming stinky. Very durable and lasts for a while. Coming from a man that can last from 1.5–4 hrs.” —Justin

“Fantastic tool. Feels insanely good, quiet, washes easy, and priced well. Great tool for edge training too. Leg-weakening finishers.” —Anything once

“Screw all those high price ones that are just stiff and barely textured… Not only does this thing twist with the slightest of ease, but the suction is intense!!! Highly recommend. You’re going to be amazed.” —Hopp

Get it from Amazon for $23.75+ (available in five styles).

B-VibeThis 1.5-inch diameter plug has seven rotation patterns and six intensities to explore and stimulate your P-spot as you start (or continue) your journey into anal play. Also, it’s splash-proof!

Looking for something a little larger? Check out the Rimming Plug 2 and Rimming Plug XL, that have all the same features but a little more length.

Promising reviews: “Got this about six months ago and it instantly became my favorite toy! The rimming beads may be the best sexual sensation I’ve felt in my life! My orgasms with this are some of the best I’ve ever had too! 11/10, best sex toy ever.” —Happy Bottom

“My boyfriend and I aren’t beginners when it comes to anal play, and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this if you’re still getting used to fingers and smaller plugs, but if you’re in this space, keep trying because this will shake you from the inside out. Experiment with the settings as the toy is deep inside you and every setting provides a different level of stimulation. I was bent over and am normally keen to move through positions but this toy’s different settings provided that excitement for me. I made my boyfriend stay in the same position the entire time. The toy provided deep pressure, a lovely rim job and having vaginal sex while it stayed in led to my mind reaching different levels of pleasure until it all came at once. This orgasm was one where you realize what matters in life and provided a reset to my mind, body and soul. My vagina was tingling for an hour afterwards. On certain settings, your partner can enjoy the vibration with you. We used it on him this morning for prostate stimulation and he laid there speechless for a half hour afterwards and only said, ‘Just how you described. 10/10.’ Cough and breathe deeply to get it out. Definitely purchase, take it slowly and enjoy the ride.” —Gwynne

Get it from B-Vibe for $159.99 (available in three colors) or Amazon for $109.99+ (also available in Rimming Plug 2 and XL).

B-Vibe is a premium collection of tech-forward anal play products founded by certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair.

www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “Honestly, sometimes better than the real thing! Used it almost everyday since I got it and it gets the job done. Very soft, but not too soft that it’s difficult to put in, so great for beginners. I’d say worth every cent and very easy to clean.” —Someone

“It’s literally the closest to the real thing I’ve ever felt. It looks extremely realistic also. 10/10 would recommend.” —Cloe Garcia

“Dare I say it, I think this thing is better than real life. As much as I love a real one, this one I can grip the base of and it’s flexible enough that it hits *all* the right places. Add a little wand in for front action and it will wind up being very loved! It looks super realistic too! In my pictures, I have people questioning if it’s real or not until I zoom out! Cleans up super easy too (not the sticky silicone that just attracts ALL the hair). 10/10 recommend. It IS 7 inches though, so if you’re not used to that length, it takes some adjusting. But not much, it just feels too good!” —My079585

Get it from Amazon for $17.99+ (available in three colors).

www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “After my first use (shoutout for arriving in the mail charged) I came like NO OTHER! I didn’t know how I was going to feel about the tongue but it reminded me of the best head I’ve received so obviously I was in love. I mean it when I say my first immediate thought was, I will no longer need a man because I have this toy. 😂 So if you wanna ditch your man, woman, person, and whoever else, this toy will keep you satisfied probably better than they can. 12/10 rating.” —TJ

“With the price of this I didn’t expect much…but WOW. I am shocked at how awesome this little gadget is; so awesome in fact I don’t even get two minutes in using before it’s game over for me (in a really good way). It’s easy to use alone or during intercourse for extra intensity (good lordy), waterproof, soft/smooth and easy to clean, charged fast and holds the charge for a shockingly long time. It has more speed/intensity options than I need but having the option to go up is nice. Overall very very happy I stumbled across this little gem.” —Kieley Sue

Get it from Amazon for $35.69+ (available in four colors).

www.amazon.com, www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “Has a great amount of vibration, with different levels. Comes with a nice cloth bag to keep it stored in. Easy to clean and feels like the real thing! Would definitely recommend.” —Parish Hubbard

“I absolutely love this product. It has become my go-to massager. It’s waterproof and recharges easily and quickly. It makes very little noise for those times when I need to be discrete. It’s also contoured to give me a good grip, whichever way I decide to hold it, perfect for those ‘hard to reach places.’ Oh, and it has some power, real power. Plus it’s very pretty, and it comes in a lovely velvet bag. Treat yourself right and buy it.” —Booklover

Get it from Amazon for $16.99 (available in burgundy and purple).

www.amazon.comThere’s a little bump at the top for an even more stimulating touch to the base of your tip, and ridges on the inside so that every movement offers stimulation.

I don’t have a penis, but this looks incredible, and I want it.

Promising reviews: “Love the product. The ribbed style made it feel so good and better than the real thing, almost. Definitely recommend this product to those needing to get some toys.” —Spyro

“A fantastic masturbation product. All frequencies have a lot to offer. The frenulum tickler is the big plus. This product can make me come in seconds.” —Dale

Get it from Amazon for $23.99.

Here’s even more strokers that feel like the real thing.

www.amazon.com, www.amazon.comThis 6.9-inch dildo offers just over 5 inches of insertable length above its realistic balls and is 1.81 inches wide.

Promising reviews: “I wanted to change things up in my life and a friend mentioned Dragon and I got overly curious. I saw this and in the color I wanted figuring it would be just a cheap toy. I had a better experience with this toy than any other toy I’ve bought. The material is softer, making it work with your body rather than against it. I don’t recommend this be your FIRST toy by any means but I was very impressed with it. Cleaning is great, as long you make sure to get the ridges well. I would have loved it to be two-tone colored as an option but I would highly recommend for something out of the norm of shape/size.” —BattleYoshi

“This ‘Blue Magic’ here is amazing and I’ll buy it again and again if needed. It came well packaged and in all original factory packaging. When I pulled it out I was a little iffy it it would deliver. It truly has a realistic feel once you touch your privates with it. It’s an addictive feeling that makes your body crave more. For me, it felt just like the real thing. I was very satisfied once finish and felt proud of my new go-to pleasure piece. Overall the price and product deserves more stars than I can give it.” —Sarita M.

Get it from Amazon for $13.99+ (available in nine colors).

New York Toy CollectiveThe Shilo dildo is harness-compatible and anal safe, and boasts an insertable length of 6.25 inches and 1.5 inches of girth. A prominent realistic tip offers targeted stimulation to G- or P-spots.

Promising reviews: “This dildo is seriously impressive. As a pack’n’play toy, it offers a wide range of value! It folds comfortably and discreetly into the pants (albeit with some effort initially) for longterm wear, feels soft between the legs when walking and sitting, pops out to an impressive length (and girth) when readying for play, looks and feels ultra-realistic to the touch (except bigger, according to my girlfriend), and gives an incredible orgasm, to me as well as my partner, surprisingly! The large base pressed right up against my clit through my spare parts harness! Not as intense as a vibrator or double ended toy, for sure, but a pleasant sensation nonetheless, and my partner gets the benefit of the huge bulbous head rolling across the G and A spots, as well as the soft, almost skin-like texture massaging everything else, and the realistic veins add a nice touch as well! Altogether, a WONDERFUL experience, from start to finish. I definitely recommend this for people who like experimenting with gender expression, but it would be a delight for everyone else too!” —Anna

“This dildo is absolutely fantastic. I can easily pack with it because it flexes, so it creates many opportunities for spontaneity. It’s super durable. The head and girth are absolutely perfect for someone or a couple looking for an above average dick without being too huge to use. My girl LOVES how this dildo feels. She can’t get enough of it. I highly recommend to anyone, especially those who like to be able to “pack and play.” This is worth every penny.” —J.

Get it from New York Toy Collective for $159 (available in four fleshtone and seven whimsical colors).

New York Toy CollectiveOh, and if ball-slapping is not your thing — it also functions as a cock ring.

Promising review: “I feel like I’ve been missing out my entire adult life before this thing. Not only do they hang and swing in a pleasing way (which is nice for my identity as a trans man) but when I’m intimately with someone they create a new level of sensation that has led to some very exciting results. The design is complete genius. Thanks NYTC!” —Griff

“I love these so much I bought a second pair because my partners have all said they love how these feel slapping against them. Also great to flip upside down with the rechargeable bullet vibe for extra stimulation during missionary positions.” —Hans Von Straphon

Get it from New York Toy Collective for $49.99 (available in four fleshtones and four colors).

If you want more toys that aren’t too phallic or realistic, check out this round-up of gender-affirming sex toys and sex toys beloved by LGBTQ+ reviewers!

www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “Was unsure how well this toy would work… Most incredible stimulating toy I have ever bought! Very strong motors, serious thrust, and incredible vibrating. It feels like the real thing! I enjoy it immensely! Easy to clean and the remote is very easy to use. Charge lasts for a long time. Would highly recommend — it almost makes hook ups unnecessary.” —jack clopein

“Nice size — it’s giving boyfriend dick. Really mixed my guts; the vibration on the gooch part is really nice and smooth. If you’re worried about the c-ring part, it’s very stretchy and not tight at all, very comfortable to use. Only gripe is that it comes out easily, but that’s a plus when you’re finished. Can’t wait to use it with my partner.” —Ikenna

Get it from Amazon for $39.66+ (available in four styles).

AmazonJust FYI, the interior of this stroker is created with TPE, which is a plastic-like form of rubber. TPE is not a body-safe material (like silicone or metal) and will degrade over time with use. A couple of ways you can make this toy last longer is to use a condom during play and only use water-based lubricant.

Promising reviews: “Super tight, felt very realistic. Almost forgot it wasn’t the real thing lol. Sucking provided a nice sensation that was incredibly pleasant. Reached the climax within three minutes.” —Brett Gong

“Wow, I’ve tried various male toys over my lifetime but this is one most interesting and extremely satisfying toys. You don’t even have to hold it, the suction power will keep you attached so you can pop in your favorite movie entertainment and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Also make sure to use lots of a high-quality lube to get what the product is supposed to deliver. It’s about as close to real feeling as I’ve experienced. This is a must-have!” —Jason

Get it from Amazon for $68.99 (also available without suction).

@blushglobal / Via www.instagram.com, @blushglobal / Via www.instagram.comThe pictured dildos and plugs are all part of Blush’s Avant collection, with several representing the colors of a specific Pride flag for their uber-popular Pride collection. Each dildo is a different length and girth, so you literally can’t go wrong.

Promising reviews: “Like a real cock. Love the shape and feel and flexibility… But you don’t have to put up with the himmin and hawin that goes along with dating in this day and age. Suction is solid.” —Ania (on Purple Rain)

“I love sex toys, this one is the newest one in my collection. This brand makes the most soft and sensational sex toys that I’ve ever used. The feel is wonderful to the skin and if you’re looking for something more on the bigger side this is the right one for you. I generally prefer dildos with a more narrow head so if you’re like me you may have a hard time (pun intended) getting this one in but I took on the challenge. I just had to get very lubricated and extra turned on in order to fit this big boy, but in the end I had that feeling of fullness that I was looking for accompanied by the amazing texture from the toy and ended up coming super hard and feeling completely satisfied. Highly recommend for that lonely weekend or with some fun with your partner. :)” —Satisfied customer (on Summer Fling)

Get them from Amazon for $55.99+ (General collection) and $24.99+ (Pride collection).

www.amazon.comPromising reviews: “This thing is insane. It feels incredible and has multiple settings you can try. There is a strong suction but I really like the tongue part. It’s seriously almost, if not better, than the real thing. 👅” —Rosemary

“I decided to give this a try after not being satisfied with some of the other ‘popular’ toys and man I’m mad I even wasted money on anything else. I’m very big on oral stimulation and this gets the job done. The tongue is soft and big enough to feel like the real thing but not too rough even on higher speeds, as I’ve experienced with some other toys in the past. The suction is pleasant but strong so be careful lol. It’s easy to clean and the battery life LASTS! I misplaced my charger and it lasted months on a single charge. Of course this will vary depending on how long and often you use it, but in my case I didn’t need prolonged sessions cause it was effective quite quickly. If you are debating on trying, just go with it. You will not be disappointed.” —Monique Wiggins

Get it from Amazon for $39.98+ (available in green and pink).

Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF MTV The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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